I will say right now that I’m fascenated by all things that spin off the idea of Schrodinger’s Cat experiment. There’s a lot of spinoff and spoofyness. I’ll add a link list to a few of my favorites at the end of this post.

BUT FIRST…I will enter the realm of the really really out there wierd and wacky. Hold on to your hats.

Dan Shive wrote a tumblr blog post about Zelda timelines. I like Zelda games, although I’ve only played about four of them (not my fault). So I read the blog post… and found the MOST EXCITING PHRASE OF THE NEW YEAR!!!!

It is: “ So basically, it’s Schrodinger’s timeline. It is in a superposition of both states of existing and not existing until you open up Miyamoto’s computer hard drive and collapse the wave function.”

Why is this exciting? Let me count the ways!

1. It’s got Schrodinger in it.

2. It’s got overlapping timelines (just you wait till I geek out on that!)

3. It uses the Schrodinger idea properly (that is, superposition of both states, not a simple “we don’t know which so it’s both”)

4. It allows ME to sabotage the computer of the guy who runs Nintendo (fun to think about, but this is a big red-letter “don’t try at home” moment)

5. I like to picture a wave function collapsing.

6. The wave function collapsing should destroy the idea of the timelines involved in the Schrodinger’s Timeline Debacle.

7. This one’s complicated. I’m a dedicated Wapsi Square reader (www.wapsisquare.com) and it’s 2012. There’s this discussion in pop culture about some Mayan timeline calendar thingus that I’ve heard of vaguely. There was a tv show on last week about how the Mayans built their calander as an endless loop system (Loop, Endless: see Endless Loop —->Endless Loop: see Loop, Endless). I suspend my disbelief consciously  when contemplating the Orange Slices Alternate Realities Theory: Multiple versions of reality, all a little different, stacked next to each other, go endlessly in both directions from our own and eventually meet in the middle, forming a circle or “orange”.

Got all that? (If you read all the wapsi archives, welcome back! If not, just the first eight-or-so years should do ya for this story )

Now… Add Schrodinger’s Timeline. You may have to briefly embrace the Orange Slices Alternate Realities Theory to see where this is going…

Possible result: if I collapse the Nintendo Guy’s computer’s wave function, the orange will explode. The universe’s survival depends on the survival of a wave function (which provides a superimposition of existing and nonexisting Zelda timelines), which is stored in a computer which I may choose to not destroy. Not only is the universe’s survival on my shoulders, but Nintendo literally cannot answer the question of whether there’s a Zelda timeline, lest they incur my compu-destructive wrath by answering incorrectly. MWAahahahahahha!!

…

Yes, yes I did. I told you “really really out there”, didn’t I? Promise kept. I now return you to your regularly scheduled reality. Have a nice day.

NOW: The promised links.

http://danshive.tumblr.com/post/10982388208/i-already-know-stuff-about-the-zelda-timeline : Dan Shive’s Tumblr.

http://dresdencodak.com/2006/02/13/trouble-in-memphis/ : Dresden Codak. I also like ancient Egypt.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/womens/d415/?pfm=homepage_EnjoyYouWill_6 Yeah not so big on the sparkly flower cat… but it’s funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNgvR3g5Xow I ALSO like SG-1. I am sad that it ended but I know about series writing, and there wasn’t much further they could have taken it. Remember, if it’s already aired, IT’S CANON.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/files/schrodingers_cat_card_10up.pdf This is just fun.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q-Squared On the subject of timelines… You must read this book. It’s a starting point… or rather, a jumping-off place.

I like online comics. It’s a terrible habit–less expensive than drugs but certainly as addictive. One of my favorites is Wapsi Square (http://wapsisquare.com/ ). Today’s comic started a lot of debate between we-who-read-and-comment. The debate focused on whether it’s right to tell someone what you know, or to withhold information so they can learn for themselves, or maybe make up something to tell them that’s cryptic and by so doing, do both.

I threw my two cents in on it, and I got a little carried away.  Phix is a character who asks, “If you could help someone…by not telling them something, would you do it?” Here’s my response:

I’m with Phix, too.

I told my daughter Santa is as real as me. I told her the tooth fairy still has all her teeth. I told her to wear sunscreen. I told her not to go near the fire when Uncle Isaac was blowing up marshmallows with cherry bombs tucked inside. [Author's Note: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!! It's dangerous, it's destructive, and it's probably illegal. Seriously, don't do it.]

I haven’t told her that “Santa” and “Tooth Fairy” are hats I wear when I must. She learned yesterday that no sunscreen=days of sunburn pain. Thankfully, she listened to me about the marshmallows–but the boom still scared her.

The most important thing I will ever teach my kid is to think for herself. You can’t teach someone to think by doing their thinking for them. Sometimes, they need your protection. But the lessons that come when she figures out all by herself that “Santa” is a hat and sunburns hurt and therefore she will wear the “Santa” hat someday and she will put on sunscreen before going swimming… those are priceless lessons. Those are the ones that a parent looks at and says, “Now I know my baby will be ok when she’s out on her own; when I’m too old; after I’m gone. She knows what to do–she can think for herself.”

Nothing can take the place of those lessons… And to teach those lessons, sometimes the parents MUST hold back. See, we already know how to think.

I realized when I’d finished writing that this is something I really believe. This is something important. This matters. Teaching my kid to think for herself really is the one and only thing I have to get right as her mom. Sure, I have to keep her safe, fed, clothed, and educated–but technically, a robot monkey could do that. I’m her MOM. That means I’m more than a robot monkey. I have to do more. The only thing I have that a robot monkey couldn’t have is wisdom–and frankly, I’m not too sure I have that, most days. But I know that thinking for myself saved me from some really stupid mistakes, and not thinking for myself got me in some very hot water. That experience–knowing that my thought process is what lands me in trouble or keeps me from it–is that all-important lesson.

It can’t be taught like math. Repitition and memorization will gain her nothing here. Here, only going through the process of making her own decisions and living with their consequences will teach her to think. I’m here to guide her, but I can’t make the decisions for her.

It’s a hard lesson for both of us.